Bottomless Brunch

INT. RESTAURANT. DAY.
Restaurant with tall ceilings and an ocean view. Five women sit at a round table: SANDRA, SARAH, JO, ROSIE AND KAYLA. Their plates are laden with food and glasses filled with champagne–it’s bottomless brunch. They are all 26-year-old friends from high school having a catch up. A tired male waiter lingers in the background, coming in to refresh their drinks when needed.


SANDRA
(Drinks) So, Jo, how’s your love life?


JO
(Rolls eyes and drinks) How did I know you were gonna ask me that? It’s fine. Uni is better though, lots of hot writer boys. Tinder is dull and so are the boys on it. Either that or they send dick pics. I should send you some, Rosie, they can get pretty artistic (drinks).

ROSIE
I’m sure there’s an art collection of them somewhere. Isn’t it a bit of a turn off though? They’re not exactly attractive… (drinks)


KAYLA
You’ve obviously been around the wrong dick then.


They all chuckle and drink. Kayla excuses herself from the table to go to the bathroom.

SANDRA
And that’s the third time she’s gone to the bathroom while we’ve been here! I think someone’s got a little… (she presses one nostril and inhales sharply through the other) problem, if you know what I mean (drinks with smirk).


The rest of the women shift uncomfortably. Jo finishes her drink and holds up her empty class for the waiter to fill it.


JO
Like you can talk, Sandra (drinks). Didn’t you blow Bobby Davis in year 10 for a joint?


SANDRA
I did not! How many times do I have to tell you? We made out, that’s it! And the joint was tiny–so not worth it.


Jo wiggles her eyebrows at Sarah and Rosie across the table as she drinks, they chuckle.

SANDRA
And anyway, I’m not the one who had sex in the music room.


JO
(Rolls eyes and drinks)
One time. One time and you never let me forget it.

Kayla returns and skulls the rest of her champagne, then takes another from a passing waiter. Sandra shakes her head.


SANDRA
Speaking of public sex, how’s work Kayla? Caught any STD’s yet?

KAYLA
You can’t rile me, Sandra-dee. I’ve been immune to you since high school. (Drinks) And if you must know, I’m doing rather well. 10,000 followers on Instagram and 500 on OnlyFans. I’m thinking of buying a holiday home by the beach.


Jo, Sarah and Rosie all finish their drinks and procure more, drinking deeply.

SANDRA
Well, if you need to tenant anything, you know who to call. (Drinks) Gary and I are still paying off our first, though I might as well be doing it myself, Gary’s so lazy. I think I’ll just get myself pregnant and pop one out so he can be a house husband (downs the rest of her drink).


ROSIE
That might require you to stop drinking.

SANDRA
Probably not worth it (drinks).


KAYLA
I can’t imagine you having kids.


The rest of the women hum their agreement and drink.

SANDRA
It’ll happen one day–whether Gary likes it or not.


Sarah turns to Rosie and takes her hand under the table.


ROSIE
Now, really?


Rosie looks mildly sick. She drains her glass and orders more. Sarah pulls their joined hands up onto the table where the others can see.


SARAH
Rosie and I are dating.

JO/SANDRA/KAYLA
Again?

Rosie takes a gulp of champagne.


JO
Didn’t you guys try that already in high school? (Drinks)


SANDRA
And didn’t it last like two days?

KAYLA
It’s not gonna last. (Drinks)

ROSIE
(Drinks) Uh, thanks?


SARAH
It’s been two months already. We’re thinking about moving in together.


JO
Are you now?
(She drinks while staring pointedly at Rosie.)


Rosie looks away and releases Sarah’s hand. The waiter leaves two full bottles of champagne on their table. Kayla returns to the bathroom.


WAITER
Table service’s over ladies.

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