This girl, this bloody girl.
“Get out of my way! I have things to do!” I tapped my padded foot and spied an opening. I hopped forward but found myself inside her godforsaken pocket! And then she sat up, the little witch, no doubt to torment me as if I were her pet.
“Why, Mr. Rabbit, you’re wearing a waistcoat,” said the giant girl.
“And you’re wearing a stupid look on your face. Let me out, girl, or I shall gnaw a hole in your pocket!”
“Well! You are quite rude for a rabbit, I must say.”
“I’m rude because I’ve got places to be and a neck I’m rather fond of; now let me out!”
The girl pondered this for a moment and I clawed at the cloth walls that entrapped me.
“I’ll let you out,” she said slowly. “IF you tell me how to get normal-sized again.”
“Normal? What is normal? You’re normal enough to me, though annoying to be sure.” I tapped my foot again, thinking, then scratched my ear with my white fuzzy paw. “You ate the cake, didn’t you? By the Queen, such a selfish, greedy girl! You ate the cake, you deal with the consequences!”
“Well, you entered my pocket, now you can stay there.”
I gnawed at my paw and checked my watch. “Blasted girl, curse you!” I grabbed a cookie from my waistcoat pocket and waved it above my head, beckoning her massive nose. She scooped me up in her hands and brought me to her face, opening her mouth. Her breath reeked of icing and I tossed the cookie at her pink tongue.
“There! Now release me, you infernal child! I’m late for an important date!”
Disclaimer: inspired by a section of Alice in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll, but from the rabbit’s point of view! I always thought of him as a bit of a cantankerous old sod.