I’ve never really been one for dieting. I always hated those girls who ate nothing but tasteless crackers and salads – who the hell genuinely enjoys a salad? Being skinny would be nice, mainly so I could fit into any clothes I want and achieve styles which have long been lost to me. But I also like being curvy. I like having a great ass and thighs – though the latter could use some reduction for pure usability. Being fat allowed me to have great breasts for the first time – both objects of great delight to me if not to my partner (they jiggle!).
But as my clothes became restrictive and I began to lose sight of my ankles and slowly my feet – I wondered if I should do something about it. I love food, so giving up the sugary junk I craved almost constantly felt implausible. Instead I did my best to cut back, to activate a little self control – though it felt alien to me. I focused more on exercise, even going to a personal trainer for a few months, which did NOT help. I barely lost a kilo and I kept convincing myself that it was all muscle. At least it improved my mental health and my relationship with Teresa, who joined me once a week to be guilted about our eating habits and sweat more than we drank. One time we brought cookies to sneakily eat afterwards, telling each other it was alright because we had already worked off the calories and damn-well earned that cookie. Another time it was cupcakes. Some things in life just go hand-in-hand, like gyms and fast food joints. Have you ever noticed that they always sit beside one another? Feeding off each other’s excretions? It’s a cruel world we live in, especially when society feeds us one body image we’re meant to aspire to and then dollops it with Big Mac sauce.
How is a healthy, burger-loving lady meant to survive?
Writing prompt: We were just asked to throw out something specific that could lead to a discussion of an idea, it just had to start with ‘on’.
We had some interesting ones; ‘On welfare’, ‘On masturbation’, ‘On attending parties’. I don’t think all that much about dieting but I ended up having a lot to say. I’d be nice to re-work this into a proper piece – if I ever have the time!